Nicotine

 in the haze of his words 

I found a comfort 

akin to smoke 

twisting around my lungs 

each whisper 

a promise 

I clung to 

though I knew 

the harm it brought

his touch 

like the pull of nicotine 

an addiction 

I could not resist 

each caress 

a reminder 

of the pain 

yet still 

I craved

love was not gentle 

but a habit 

etched in shadows 

where I lost 

pieces of myself 

hoping for change 

in a pattern 

that held me tight

yet I stand 

on the brink of knowing 

that leaving 

is the only way 

to find my breath 

and reclaim 

the life 

I thought was gone

Abusive Relationships: The Nicotine Addiction of the Heart

Addiction is a powerful force. It grips, consumes, and sometimes convinces us we can't live without the very thing that hurts us. An abusive relationship can feel much the same. The cycle of abuse mirrors the pull of nicotine—familiar, insidious, and difficult to escape. Emotional bruises, like the tar in cigarettes, leave deep scars on a person's psyche, yet many remain hooked, caught in a toxic loop that feels impossible to quit.

Understanding Addiction in Relationships

Addiction isn't limited to substances like alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. Emotional dependencies can form bonds that are just as hard to break. Abusive relationships often masquerade as love but thrive on control and manipulation. The addictive nature here lies in the highs and lows—the temporary highs of affection, followed by crashing lows of abuse.

The Cycle of Abuse and Dependency

Abusive relationships follow a harmful yet predictable pattern: tension builds, an explosive event occurs, followed by periods of remorse and calm. This cycle traps victims, much like an addiction to smoking. After a cigarette, there's relief, seemingly harmless and momentary. But before long, the craving returns, stronger than before. Similar emotions lock abuse victims into their relationships, believing the calm after the storm is love.

Emotional Triggers and Cravings

Cravings aren't just for nicotine; they extend to the comfort of the known. After exposure to abuse, some individuals develop an emotional dependence on their abusers. It's counterintuitive but stems from psychological trauma, similar to how nicotine hooks the mind into associating smoke breaks with relaxation. Abusers often exploit these emotional triggers, reinforcing dependence through manipulation cloaked as love.

The Poetic Representation of Addiction

Poetry serves as a window into emotions that prose often can't fully capture. For this reason, poets have long used their words to give voice to addiction and its agonising grip.

Imagery of Nicotine in Poetry

Nicotine, a destructive yet addictive substance, is rich in symbolism. Smokers often describe its appeal as if it's an intimate companion: comforting, reliable, and always there, even when it's slowly killing them. From the ash of burnt-out cigarettes to the suffocating haze of smoke, imagery tied to nicotine often mirrors the toxic allure of abusive relationships.

Lines like "the cigarette comforted me as it stole my breath" express a reality that feels uncomfortably familiar to many caught in toxic love bonds. The fleeting sense of relief amplifies the long-term damage.

Symbolism of Relationships in Poetry

In literature, relationships—healthy or otherwise—are commonly framed through metaphors. But when it comes to abusive connections, poets often draw on harsh, striking imagery to reflect the pain. Words like chains, prisons, or even disease often appear, hinting at the ensnaring quality of both addiction and manipulation.

One striking similarity is the portrayal of control. Much like a smoker lights up knowing it’s harmful, an abuse victim can find themselves rationalising harm under the guise of love. Poems often explore this battle between head and heart, where fear and longing coexist.

Healing and Recovery

Escaping either an abusive relationship or an addiction requires courage, support, and the determination to break free. Just as with quitting nicotine, victims need time and effort to reclaim their independence, along with help from others.

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking free often starts with recognising the problem. For victims of abuse, understanding the toxic dynamic can be an empowering wake-up call. From there, small steps can lead to bigger changes: setting boundaries, avoiding contact, and seeking professional therapy. Each step chips away at the pull of dependency, much like the early days of quitting smoking.

It's a process, and relapses may happen—but each attempt builds resilience and resolve.

Support Systems and Resources

Support is crucial. For abuse victims, this might be confiding in trusted friends or family. It could also mean contacting organisations like Women's Aid or local shelters. For addiction, support groups such as Nicotine Anonymous can provide a lifeline.

Therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are proven to help people rebuild after trauma, and there are many resources available online and offline for those in need. Remember, you’re not alone.

Conclusion

Abusive relationships and nicotine addiction may seem worlds apart, but they share a haunting similarity—both wrap tightly around those they touch, feeding on emotional and physical pain. Yet hope remains. With the right tools and support, healing is possible. Poetry, too, provides not just a voice to express these challenges but also a tool to process and eventually move forward.

No one deserves to feel trapped in toxicity, whether it’s a bad habit or a harmful relationship. The road out might be tough, but it’s there. Seek help, gather strength, and take that first brave step to freedom.

Love and Solidarity,

Aspen