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Showing posts with the label Pain

I sharpen my teeth

  She said I sharpen my teeth on her softness, but didn’t she offer her skin first? Held up her bruises like medals, then scolded me for staring. What do you want, love: silence or truth? Choose. In the house of words, we trade spit for salt. You criticised my bite, I criticised your mask. Both of us holding up glass, pretending it wasn’t a mirror. You see, it starts with one voice then echoes until it’s a scream no one owns. You said: You’re cruel as if I hadn’t learnt it from you. From every sigh behind a door, every almost-compliment curled at the edge of your lips like smoke from a burning letter. They call it “constructive,” as if we’re building something other than guilt. As if these fragile walls we patch won’t crack again by morning. I watched my reflection develop your voice, sharp, clever, cutting, like a surgeon who forgot they weren’t trying to heal. And now, look at me,  flinching at praise, measuring love with rulers marked in red ink. The voices are still in her...

The Thin End

  The Thin End They say it softly, at first, with the oil-slick assurance of reason. The Act, they call it, like a play that's overstayed its welcome, its curtains faded, its script revised too many times to mean anything now. It's not about you, they say,  not the wheelchair user wheeling past the uncut curb. Not the mother, belly full, aching under a "staff only" sign. Not the pensioner, hands fragile as tissue, counting coins at the till while the queue glares. It's them, they insist, the others. The ones who shift shapes, swap names, stitch themselves into something new. Too much fuss, too much space. Surely, you can see that? But the blade is already out, its first stroke clean, deliberate. The cut barely stings, not yet. You, old man, will feel it when the lift breaks, and no one comes. You, woman, swollen with life, will feel it when the seat is gone, when the door slams shut. You, child with the slanted smile, will feel it in the playground’s whisper,  not...

Playground of Thoughts

  In this poem, I explore the constant, exhausting race within my mind, a never-ending cycle of chasing peace, where thoughts twist and hide, and calm feels always just out of reach. This is my personal experience of mental health struggles, but it’s important to recognise that everyone’s journey with mental health is unique. There are many different ways mental health challenges can manifest, and no single experience reflects the whole picture. I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights too; what do you think the public needs to know about mental health? Let’s continue the conversation to foster greater understanding and empathy for all. My mind is a playground,  A never-ending game of tag,  Twisting thoughts that run and hide,  Always seeking - never finding.  A constant struggle between self and mundane,  How exhausting - to chase your own peace, A marathon with no finish line.  These flesh, these bones, do not belong to me.  What ownership do...

Tighter Grips of Need

 I  pulled my belt tighter, fingers slippery with sweat, each hole a reminder, an ache that wouldn’t forget. The leather shrank in on me, a harsh, deliberate squeeze, each notch a cut into my chest, a price I couldn’t appease. Once, it was room enough to breathe, to eat, now it’s just an endless loop of hunger in defeat. I can’t punch another hole, the metal tongue bit back, no more space, no more breath, no more promise of a crack. The fridge hums empty, a phantom’s warning to the heart, I’ve learned the shape of nothing, how hunger rips apart. The belt, once loose and gentle, now snarls in my ribs’ tight grasp, and I count the holes as if they’re prayers, or a future that might last. But each turn of the dial feels like turning back the clock,  to days when bread was heavier, and I didn’t need to beg the block. I could live with the ache of time, the wanting not to fall, now I’d settle for the hunger if it didn’t rise so tall. So I pull it tighter, another notch to bear...